Frustration

It has been a frustrating day. I am frustrated over so many freaking things right now. Tonight my 13 year old 'graduated' from grade eight. Should have been a nice sentimental evening. There should have been tears shed by parents like myself. Well basically it was a freaking joke! These prissy little grade eight girls got all gussied up looking like freaking hookers for what? To have a bowl of melted ice cream after their school pennant was handed to each of them? There were no speeches, no 'valedictorians' no 'my fondest memory' moments shared by the students. The point I clearly got from the whole evening is that the teachers just want these students the hell out of their school. No baby photos were shared in a heart warming slide show, everything about the evening was stupid! Once this half hour long event was over with, my youngest son's teacher approached me and I asked her about my son's shoe which had somehow found its way up on top of the school roof a week or so ago. We were told that the teachers/janitorial staff, etc had no authority to send anyone up on the roof and that an 'expert' as my ten year old described the story, had to be sent down from the school division office an hour away. So tonight I told the teacher that a new pair of shoes would be sufficient and why would the division want to pay some jack ass to drive all the way here to get some lousy shoe of the school roof? I told the teacher that if it was all right with her, my husband had a ladder waiting in his truck outside the school and that he would be happy to retrieve the shoe rather than waste taxpayer $$. A few min later the principal came over to chat and informed us that the 'expert' had already been up on the roof and no shoe was found. So we chit chatted a bit, exchanging illfelt pleasantries, laughing off the fact that it was the end of the school year and the shoe was old anyway. A half hour later, my husband set up the ladder and our son went up and grabbed the shoe which was in plain sight even while squinting through the evening sunshine. So I'm frustrated with the idiots who work for our school division, I'm frustrated that the students or the teachers didn't take the time to really put on a good show for us parents tonight. It was a huge let down. i remember 'graduating' from grade nine years ago and we put a lot of effort into it. We had invited former teachers to attend, we had speeches, a musical guest, awards were handed out, some jokes about each student were read in good taste and humor. The gym was decorated for the event and the students sat at tables in the front to be honored by all in attendance, not just scattered here, there everywhere throughout the gym.

I am frustrated with my husband's job, I am frustrated with the flooding situation which caused him to almost be late for such an important event (which again was a huge letdown) I am frustrated with my body which is in constant excruciating pain and I am frustrated when people look at me funny, like tonight, sitting in the gym, I was wearing a knee brace, an wrist tensor and a tennis elbow brace. I had an icepack discretely tucked under a nice scarf but I know I looked funny and when the principal did sort of ask out of politeness as to what was the matter with me, I wasn't sure what to say without sounding like a hypochondriac loser! I just want to cry now, I'm tired of the continuous soreness that by the end of the day I just want to scream in agony. No one else gets it around here. My only way to really vent is online.

Back in the Saddle Again

Well, I'm officially back to work and so far so good. The office job is a thing of the past. I have to put it behind me and move on and be happy with my decision. I have the option of going back if they should ever be hiring in the future, I know they'd consider me but for now, my house will soon be crawling with kids! One of my old families is back this week until the end of the month. It was as if they'd never left my house. Or that they'd taken a year long vacation! Another one of my old families starts back on Monday part time and I have had a few drop ins this week. Just enough to keep me busy and happy. The weather is finally co-operating and hopefully the soil will dry up and the water in the basement issues we are having will eventually cease to exist. We are in the midst of ripping carpets out of the basement. We may use this opportunity to reconfigure our basement, somehow get a second bedroom down there. Might take a miracle and we will lose precious storage space but I am using this time to declutter, parting with things I never thought possible! But not my books, never my books!

This week, my pain exists almost everywhere. But none of it is what I'd consider severe, just annoying. My fingers are tending to seize up and almost dislocate and my right knee feels like someone took a hammer to it but I am dealing with the pain very well. Haven't taken anything but a few alieve this week.

Dare I say I am 'happy' right now? I think I may very well be. I have a nice roster of girls lined up to watch this fall, in all my years of daycare I have had an overwhelming amount of boys and never in the ten years I've watched kids in my home have I had ALL girls! I am happy with my line up. I think it will be a great group of kids and parents. The fact that I am getting calls and my old clientelle is popping back in or returning to me permanently means a lot. I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing. Kids make me smile and if I can smile through the painful times, I must be doing something right!