A lot can happen in a year.....a happy marriage can turn on a dime and all of a sudden, it's not so happy anymore. My last post in June of 2011 talks about being 'back to work'. On an up note, I am still working. My purpose in life is to care for some wonderful little girls. They have been my saving grace. A reason to haul ass out of bed each morning despite the aches, the popping sounds from joints in protest of my morning routine. The husband is still here, still a husband? Ashley Madison was introduced into our marriage in September 2011. On route from a family wedding, a happy occasion, my husband's blackberry told a tale of unfaithfulness, backed up by an academy award winning performance by my husband denying what he eventually confessed to so that I woudn't force our truck off the road, killing our entire family to end the pain that has taken root in my hypermobile heart. So if it wasn't enough for this now 38 year old self employed mother of two to be dealing with chronic physical neuropathy, constantly trying new medicatation to test its usefulness, there is emotional pain to boot. An all inclusive paid vacation to HELL. Let's see what's happened with my health this past year.....my teeth have shifted to the point where I no longer recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror. Gone is the one asset I was grateful for in life. In the seventh grade, a popular girl once told me I had a great smile and that has stuck with me. Hell, I hadn't even had my braces put on when she told me that. It must have been my personality shining through my smile since my teeth were pretty crooked back in the fall of 1987! The braces went on the following spring and I wore them for about a year. The outcome was successful and for the next 20 years, my teeth/smile remained unchanged. Now my receding gums and loose teeth tell a different tale. One more reason to be self conscious. Great, like I didn't have enough reasons for that! My rounded scoliosis ridden back/shoulders were plenty enough thanks! My digestive system is in a constant state of confusion. My elasticized bowel and other major organs can not take the medications I keep trying. I haven't had a normal poop in over a year. The fact that I'm blogging about it is proof positive that my life completely sucks. I have gained half the weight back that I lost in 2010. My clothes do not fit but yet my core feels a bit stronger due to the Egoscue exercises I should be doing on a regular basis. The fact that I'm NOT doing them as I should is a reminder of the weight I've gained or perhaps the weight is a reminder of the lack of exercise in my life. I'll just go deliver another paper. I am however on a waiting list to see a geneticist and if my pain is not improved by the Lyrica I am currently taking, I will be referred for an MRI by the neurologist I finally say a few weeks ago. So far the Lyrica has produced a lot of nerve sensations, zaps and zings and the like. It is an expensive drug compared to others I've tried over the course of my pain ordeal. But I will keep taking it as prescribed until August when I see the neuro again. To be positive, while my health is not the greatest, things could be worse! My son who is now a ninth grader is doing quite well, working many a part time job, doing okay in high school, has stopped hanging out with kids who are bad influences! He is on a good path right now. Let's hope it stays that way!