The lyrica did not work, followed by the Nortypyline which did not work. An MRI was ordered in August and I went for my MRI at the end of November. It did not indicate anything neurologically wrong with me. My neurologist says he can not be of any further help. He found it amusing when I asked him about chiari malformation and then stated that chiari can not be found on an MRI. I am so confused, I have people from message boards telling me one thing, people who actually have a chiari diagnosis! The doctor, has he even seen the MRI images? I called the hospital I had the test done at and ordered my own copy for sixty dollars. Just in case a doctor down the road might like to see them and perhaps find something that could be causing my pain. The neuro just rattled on in a language I couldn't decipher. I had something enlarged but he didn't explain what. The pain doesn't end. He told me to go back and see my family doctor so I have an appt. booked for Feb 1, surprisingly I thought she'd be booking into March.
I should be happy, should be focusing on something other than the pain I live with daily. I would not wish this on even the persons in this world who have committed wrong against me in the past. Even on those who would rather gossip behind my back about my health condition. I should be thankful, today my son turns 15 years old. The pain of labor and childbirth has nothing on this chronic neuropathy that I endure day after day. I should be grateful my joints were healthy enough to deliver two healthy babies when my boys were born. I should try not to focus on the fact that my tall, gangly boy is losing weight and is probably more hypermobile than I am. For now I will pray that God will one day diagnoses us all so that if my boys have children of their own, they wont be faced with the journey doctors have led me on over the past two years. If I could turn back time, I would not sign up for the new years resolution of swimming laps like I did in January 2011. If I hadnt done so much damage by swimming where would i be today? Would I still be working away at a job I didn't care for? Maybe I finally would have got hired at the bank like I had wanted to for so long. Or would I be back taking care of kids like I am today? I love those kids so I will focus on the joy they have brought into my life. Joy over pain, Joy over pain, Lord Jesus, I humby accept the gifts of healing that only you can provide. Please if you were in this room today so I could touch your cloak and feel the pain rise up and leave my body! Praying this can be so one day dear Lord.
Happy New Year everyone! May you all be blessed in 2013, not only with good health but with peace and job in your lives!!
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