So many possiblities to describe my pain

I call it hidden pain because on the outside I think I look pretty normal. On the inside I live with neuropathic pain. I feel jolts of pain, spasms, it sometimes feels like a throbbing itch that no amount of scratching that can ever relieve it. It feels like something is grabbing onto my tendons and twisting them around in my arm and my neck. I ache, I burn, I try to occupy my mind with something else but it always draws me back to the fact that I just plain hurt. I find myself talking to myself saying 'oh man I hurt today'. Will there ever be a day that I wake up and don't say that to myself? My symptoms could be chalked up to a number of illnesses that I read about online. I could have fibromyalgia, my hypermobility syndrome could be a form of Ehlers Danlos syndrome. Myofacial pain, I read is a result of connective tissue pain which is basically what Ehlers Danlos Syndrome deals with, the connective tissues of the body. Did I do this to myself because I swam too much in January? Did I lose too much weight too quickly which resulted in muscle loss and weakness which contributed to poor posture which my desk job aggrivated even further? If so, then why after not working for three months and not swimming for three months am I still in as much pain as I was weeks ago? Why did my Cymbalta seem to help more at a lower dosage than it does at this higher dosage? Should I ask for another drug? When do I finally give up on recovery? I know there are people out there dealing with so much more pain than myself. My pain is mine alone, only I can feel it and react to it. I want to remain calm but I want to to shout to the world about how much I hurt and how I can't live like this any longer. I want to be a productive member of society and to teach my children to do the same as they continue to grow. I want to be a positive role model for them and how can I do that when I stress over the things that I can not seem to change or control. How do I completely surrender to God, the control over my life and my pain and my worry, especially my worry so that I can not worry about where the next bill payment is coming from due to me being unemployed. They say money doesn't buy happiness but it seems to subdue my worry. I only want the basics for my family, that is all we need but when I can't earn an income, even the basics are going to be hard to obtain and in this materialistic city that I reside in, the importance of money only resounds even louder in my head. If I had to choose between ridding myself of the worry or the pain, I think I'd choose the worry.